Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
