i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
