your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I will pee on everything he values.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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