ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
