But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize