be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize