She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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