maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
