A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
