I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
