The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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