I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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