i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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