all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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