There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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