I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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