My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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