Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
