Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
