marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
