So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize