So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
