I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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