Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
