I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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