Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
