Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
