The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize