we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
