sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
