Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
