Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
