Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
There r osticjed everywhere
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
