I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
