We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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