She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
