im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
