Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
