I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hippo gnu deer
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
