ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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