she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
