hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
