my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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