FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize