I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
