I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
