just come out here and I will go home with you...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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