the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
