just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
