Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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