i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
