We won't sleep together?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
