i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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