I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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