the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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