help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
we're so committed to being not committed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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