so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
