So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
