I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
