im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
