he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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